- Believing that you are always right, or that you know everything.
We’ve all been there. We’re fighting with a boyfriend, a friend, family, or ourselves. We are so certain our perspective is not only right, but has to be true. Rarely, do we ask why. Why are you feeling this way? What belief do you have that is driving this reaction? Furthermore, it is extremely rare that we ask ourselves “What if what I believe is wrong?” In addition, when something isn’t working whether it’s in your professional or personal life we rarely ask, “What is it I’m doing wrong?” “What can I do differently next time?” It’s essential that we ask ourselves these questions. It’s essential that we accept that we just don’t know it all. If not, you are holding yourself back from growing, and eventually getting whatever it is that you are working toward.
- Your feelings are a result of someone else and their actions.
Have you ever had your heart broken? It sucks. It’s easy to fall into the habit of blaming the person who hurt you. “I’m hurt by what (Insert name) did to me.” We blame and live in a state of sadness or anger and think “One day I’ll be ok and get over this.” The issue here is you are placing the responsibility entirely on the other person. Responsibility for what happened, and responsibility how you are now. Now this may be harsh, but that’s 100% wrong. You are responsible for your feelings, and what you do with them. Next time you are thinking, “Ugh what they did sucks and I am so hurt because of it.” Stop, and ask yourself what it is that has struck this feeling in you. Most likely, it is because what has happened has distorted your reality in some way. Maybe it’s that you are valuing the wrong things at that time. Take responsibility for how you feel, and if you don’t like it- take steps to change it.
- Overnight success is a thing, and is pretty common.
Thanks to the media we have this false idea that people reach ultimate success overnight. This belief is propelled even further because of social media. We only see the success of others. It’s pretty rare that we see stories of people and their failed companies. However, we see the stories of people who launch a company and suddenly they’re millionaires. There is no one, and I repeat no one that is great at anything that hasn’t failed at that very thing before. If you see someone doing something at the level you want to be at know that it simply means they have failed at that one thing more than you. Rest assured that by continuing to fail, adapt, and try again that you are on the track to success. What success really needs is failure, growth, persistence, and time.
- You aren’t ready
I am so guilty of this. I hesitated to post on social media because I thought, “I need to be thinner. I need to be better at photography. I need to be more exciting.” I was so wrong. The thing is if I had waited for these things to occur I would have been waiting forever. There is never the perfect time to do anything. All there is is time, and time will pass whether you are doing what you want or not. So just jump in. Go for it. You will grow. You will get better as time goes on. We all start somewhere. Start today (no, start this very minute) and know for certain that this time next week you will know more than you do now.
- I will fail
So often I have held myself back because I assumed that I would fail. I assumed that I would put myself out there, both personally and professionally, and people would reject me. There is a lot wrong with this assumption. First, believing this means that I don’t believe that I have something to offer. Second, it means that I care way too much about how others think and feel about me. Three, it means in some way I am thinking I am too special. I will not fail anymore than anyone else. To assume that there is something about me that would separate me enough from everyone else that would result in only me failing not them is restricting. I am not more or less worthy than anyone else. I can succeed just as much as anyone else if I work for it. Finally, I now believe that the only way to fail is to not try. You will always gain something if you go after what you want. The only way you lose is if you stay stagnant, and refuse to grow.
All the best,