I’m currently re-reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Manson. (Isn’t it funny how you can read or watch something numerous times, and get something new from it each time depending on what it is you’re going through?) While reading last night I read a section about indifference, and it really stuck out to me. According to Manson, “there is nothing admirable or confident about indifference. People who are indifferent are lame and scared… indifferent people often attempt to be indifferent because in reality they give way too many fucks.” (p.15) He goes on to mention that indifferent people are afraid of the repercussions of their own choices so they end up never making any meaningful choices.
I have played the indifference card many times in my life, and I have been making a tremendous effort to change that the past couple years. I was just never able to put into words what it was I was doing. Take a second and look back on your life and think of the times you pretended not to care in order to protect how vulnerable you felt, or to mask how much you wanted something. What was it for? Acceptance? A job? Love? Now think about the times things just seemed to click and you got exactly what you wanted. Guarantee those were the times you just didn’t care and let yourself be.
There are people in life who just don’t care about adversity or failure. They look at the possibility of embarrassment or failure right in the face and laugh. Those are the people to admire. I happen to be dating one of them. My boyfriend has always understood that in order to be an important and life-changing presence for some people you also have to be a joke and embarrassment to others. He dropped out of high school and chased after his dreams of entrepreneurship, and it has paid off. He’s now founded two companies, and is in the process of starting a restaurant. All because he chose to only care about what he felt was right for him, and not about what others thought, or about the possibility of failure.
So choose what matters to you carefully and just don’t care about the other stuff. Adversity is unavoidable. We’re going to come across crappy situations no matter what. All we can do is pick the crappy situations that we don’t mind dealing with.
“I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which, was that you can fail at what you don’t want so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love”
– Jim Carrey
All the best,